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Metta is one of the oldest structured meditations there is, and it is unusually specific about method. You repeat a short set of well-wishes, and you direct them at named people in a set order that begins with yourself.
What this practice is
The phrases are simple and vary between teachers. May you be safe, may you be well, may you be at ease. They are repeated deliberately and slowly, and the repetition is the practice rather than a way of getting to something else.
The order is the structural part. Classically it runs from yourself, to someone you love easily, to someone neutral, to someone difficult, and then outward without limit. Each step is harder than the one before and the difficulty is the point: the practice is extending a warmth you already have to somewhere it does not naturally go.
Almost everyone finds the first step the worst. Directing the phrases at yourself brings up either nothing or active resistance, and that is so common it is nearly the norm. Some teachers allow starting elsewhere and coming back to yourself later, which is a reasonable accommodation rather than a shortcut.
The tradition treats metta as ethical training rather than as relaxation, and places it among the practices for how you meet other people. What people commonly report is that the phrases stop feeling like a script somewhere in the second or third week. Whether it changes behaviour is a question for evidence and is not claimed here.
When to use it
Practise it as a regular sit, ideally at the same time each day. Metta builds by accumulation and the effect is not visible session by session.
It suits a general hardness, toward yourself or toward people in general, more than a specific grievance. If there is one person you are angry with, going straight to them in the difficult step usually fails; the anger sessions handle that better first.
It is also the practice to reach for when you have been alone too long, because it puts other people in the room in a way that solitary practice usually does not.
The sessions
Loving-Kindness, one practice at three lengths, 10 to 24 minutes. Every session in this collection needs Premium. Four other meditation collections have a free session in them, and the free tier covers twelve guided sessions across the app.
| Length | Tier |
|---|---|
| 10 min | Premium |
| 18 min | Premium |
| 24 min | Premium |
How long to practise for
The shorter session covers fewer steps of the sequence and that is a legitimate way to practise it. Two steps done properly beats five rushed.
The longer ones give each person real time, which matters most at the difficult step, where thirty seconds is not enough to get past the objection to being there at all.
The general version of this, and what a longer session actually adds, is in How Long to Meditate For: Choosing a Session Length.
How to use it
Start with someone easy if starting with yourself produces nothing. Every teacher of this has met that problem and it is a normal adjustment rather than a failure.
Choose a difficult person who is mildly difficult. Beginning with the person who hurt you most is the commonest way this practice gets abandoned.
Say the phrases slowly enough to mean them, and accept that you often will not. Going through the motions is the way in, not a sign you should stop.
Keep the same phrases week to week. Changing the words often is a way of avoiding what they do.
What usually goes wrong
Starting with the person who hurt you most. The sequence builds for a reason. Beginning at the hardest step means practising resistance rather than kindness.
Waiting to feel it before saying it. The feeling follows the practice by weeks rather than preceding it. Nearly everyone finds the phrases hollow at first.
Skipping yourself permanently. Starting elsewhere is a reasonable adjustment. Never coming back is avoiding the step that most people need most.
Rewriting the phrases every session. Familiarity is doing work here. A phrase you know by heart asks less of you than a new one to consider.
The phrases, in order
PanchPrana runs metta at several lengths so a short sit can cover two steps of the sequence properly rather than all of them badly. The heart-centred breathwork sessions are the quicker, breath-led relative.
Who should take care
This is a gentle sitting practice and the cautions are about what deliberately generated warmth can bring up rather than about any physical demand.
If you live with depression or are grieving, take care with the self-directed step. Wishing yourself well can bring up grief or self-criticism rather than warmth, which is a known and ordinary response. Start elsewhere in the sequence, and ease off if it reliably leaves you worse.
If you live with PTSD or complex trauma, take care at the difficult-person step and do not use it for someone who harmed you. That is work for a therapist, and metta is not a route to forgiving anyone on a schedule.
Stop if a session leaves you more distressed than settled and come back to something ordinary. If self-directed kindness is consistently painful rather than awkward, that is worth raising with a therapist rather than practising through.
See our full Health & Safety Disclaimer.
Common questions
What does metta mean?
A Pali word usually translated as loving kindness or goodwill. It is one of four qualities the tradition treats as cultivable, alongside compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity.
What are the phrases?
They vary. A common set is may you be safe, may you be well, may you be at ease. Any short, sincere well-wishing works, and keeping the same words matters more than which.
Why does it feel fake?
Because it is being manufactured, and it is being manufactured on purpose. Almost everyone reports this at the start and most find it eases within a few weeks.
Do I have to include someone I dislike?
It is the classical structure and it is the step doing the most work. Choose someone mildly difficult rather than the hardest person you know.
How is this different from the heart-centred breathwork?
That carries the warmth on the breath in a ten minute practice. This is the full sitting version built on repeated phrases, and it takes longer and goes further.
